Pain

Pain in my face

Pain in my face originating in my eyes

Pain in my face originating in my eyes and making me ill

Pain in my face originating in my eyes and making me ill as I stare

Pain in my face originating in my eyes and making me ill as I stare in horror and disbelief

Pain in my face originating in my eyes and making me ill as I stare in horror and disbelief at a bunny

Pain in my face originating in my eyes and making me ill as I stare in horror and disbelief at bunny saying...

..."Hello."


Woops. There went my lunch. Oh wait...OK, I think that's the last of--

...

*Gasp*

Literally

So here's a pet peeve: People use the word "literally" for emphasis. Here are some wonderful examples.

I thought--literally--I thought I was going to die.
(Actual thought: "This is very unpleasant.")

She literally flew across the finish line!
("She crossed the finish line very, very fast.")

I'm literally starving to death right now.
("I've very hungry.")

My arms were literally falling off.
("My arms were very sore.")

I literally couldn't sleep at all last night.
("I didn't sleep very well last night.")

My head is literally going to explode.
("I'm fairly certain that my head will not literally explode.")

And here's one from the New York Daily News:
"Rep. Anthony Weiner, a likely 2009 mayoral candidate, is pouring his heart into Hillary Clinton's White House bid - literally."

I also recommend a look at this entertaining article. But only if, you know, you're anxious to become so irritated your head literally explodes.

Butterflies are ugly

You don't believe me, look at one up close.

I just made up a new word:

SPECTABULISTIC

Yes, it's just one more unfunny example of someone (in this case, me) trying to hide the sad fact that their vocabulary is woefully sub-par. I can sound smart and clever by combining synonyms for "good." For example, here is a list of synonyms:

Fantabulous
Beautifical
Wondertastic
Marvelicious
Danderific
Stupendiful

Definition: Really, really, really good.

And then there's the slowly dying word, the mere utterance of which some overly-large families still find unjustifiably hilarious: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Be wise, my friends, and never, ever utter that word. I should also add that singing the song is probably akin to signing a social death warrant.

Today, I thought about the fact that I'm single. And then I thought (as I often do, here, a Mormon, at BYU and getting older every day), "Who will I marry?"

Because I consider this to be a question of surpassing import, I decided to ask the Internet. Here is what the Internet told me:

"never get married your happy single. but thats not to say you cant look for a good time keep your eyes open and look your best."

Well spoken, Internet. Thank you for your wise counsel.